CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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