What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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