M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Your penis caused this!
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