Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
