i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
