put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
