I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
