my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
