I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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