Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
