i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
