I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize