Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
