there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
