I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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