I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
