I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
