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New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize