Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
