I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
