Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
