This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My vagina just recognized that song.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize