I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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