party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I could fuck to npr.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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