worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
