just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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