I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
