dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize