I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
