I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
