Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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