I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
