is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
