there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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