Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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