Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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