my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
