dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
zippers are such a cool invention
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
