Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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