So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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