my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
