If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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