I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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