Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
