thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
where does the pee come out of this thing
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize