i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
