I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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