that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
