Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
