Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
