he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize