smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
