Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
