We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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