Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
