the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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