I like my sex mixed with concussions.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
handjob tips. give me some.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Enjoy the penises
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
