You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
