I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's rum buckets o'clock
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
