If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
