just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
either way he was missing a nipple.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
