tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
