Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
