nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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