ya dads aren't the best wingmen
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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