if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
