Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
