AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize