Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
